Maybe its just me, and "annoying" is one of those negative words I try very hard to keep out of my vocabulary...both inside my head, and out of my mouth. That being said, there are cases where it is so appropriately descriptive and "dead on" it simply becomes unavoidable! So here goes. You all can relate and more than likely have more than one or two of each of these annoying Facebook friends or more accurately "friends of friends".
1. The "Oppositionist"
This FB offender is the worst type of individual who needs to be on George Carlin's list of people who needs to be dragged outside...you know the rest. This person is often Political, spews views full of fallacies so often he has a whole page full of scarecrows. (Straw Men? Get it...)? In any event, they argue for arguments sake, and worst of all, with complete strangers. They are the brothers of people who you went to HS with that you never knew existed and now you can't seem to read an update without their obnoxious, swimming against the stream, opinions! Careful not to fall into their trap. Their goal is to stir the pot and insight discomfort and anger. Don't let them get to you. They will ruin your day and, in all honesty, they don't exist or matter in your world so either block them, or ignore them. They really aren't worth it and would argue with themselves in a rubber room if they had to...and more than likely, that's exactly where they belong!
By exaggerating, misrepresenting, or completely fabricating some one's argument, its much easier to present your own opinion to be reasonably valid. However, this kind of dishonesty only serves to undermine rational debate."
2. The "Know it All"
Similar to the oppositionist, this person has a different way of making you want to jump off a ten story building!!! The know it all is the one who corrects everyone onTBT! (aka "Throw Back Thursday). He's the one who wasn't at the party or in the picture but corrects the year because the shirt so and so was wearing was red and he only wore black until he was a sophomore. Or the one who comments under an article you shared on a friend's page and says something like, "The author of this has been discredited since he was found to be a crack head!" or whatever! The "know it all" and the "oppositionist" need to be sent to an island together with no Internet access or ability to reproduce. Just saying.
Congratulations! No one likes you!
3. The "Post Bomber"
Inspired by the phrase "photo bomb" I'm pretty sure many of you know exactly who I am talking about in this case. Not as bad as the previous two but make you cringe non-the-less. You post a very thought out, very personal comment on a friend's wall and this individual literally bombs away!
For instance, you write: "I was thinking of the time we went out and met those guys and you told them we were tourists visiting from Brussels! You always had a sense of humor and a magnetic way about you. Don't let anyone bring you down or rain on your day. Miss you...never change!" or something like that. (Where do I come up with these things...not sure but out they come!) ... The post bomber can't resist! They don't even try. Suddenly they are writing about "that time when"...or "how about that other time"...and p.s. you never met this person and chances are...your friend isn't even sure they have either! The PB can also be referred to as the "One Upper"...
4. The "Mortal Enemy"
Oh the mortal enemy. The one who thinks you slept with her boyfriend...now husband, when if she only knew the truth of what really went on that night. You know, the night he was so drunk you were nice enough to drive him home only to have him jump your bones as you pushed him and told him off? Yea...that one. Except his girlfriend, now wife, presumed you overstepped some boundary as if you were on a quest to steal her man! You can keep him! (Really, keep him...on a leash!!!) Not that you care what this woman thinks of you, but the reminder of the night she stalked him and followed you home with accusations when all you wanted to do was take a shower and forget the whole slimy ordeal ever happened happens every time she comments on the same thread as you.
5. The "Friender"
This one isn't as annoying as they are creepy. He is the guy who friends everyone on their friend's "friend list" with a message explaining they are friends with Erin. Really? Suddenly, the guy I met a few times through a friend of a friend is now using my Facebook account as a dating pool!!! Worse, somehow he has me vouching for him!?! I don't know about you, but vouching for a person is not a gift given freely. We need a personal history for a number of years, and even then I want a background check complete with referrals from your ex's. "I'm a friend of so and so"....get out of my Social Circle!!!!
No...But I know you! ;) #Creepy!!!
